WILLISTON PARK: WHERE YOUR BUSINESS IS EVERYONE ELSE’S BUSINESS
In a town as small as Williston Park, there is bound to be drama. Let me set the scene for all you outsiders: 20 lifeguards all work together at the town pool and occasionally, well, more like every night, they drink, heavily, and consequently bad things happen. But lucky for us, drama ensues and we all have something or someone to talk about the next day, whether it be a random hook-up or a guy on girl fist fight. When you’re out in Williston Park, one thing is for sure, you will have a good story by the time the night is through.
Let’s take relationships for example. They tend to not exist here. Instead, hook-ups among friends are much more preferable to a relationship, in most cases. If you’ve been friends with the people you’ve known since grammar school, then you’ve probably had an incestuous hook-up more than once. But hey, anything goes here. Of course feelings eventually get involved and people get hurt, but then they learn that no-strings attached is the best way to go. To be brutally honest here, a Williston Park lifeguard in the summer is like a dog in heat, he or she will gravitate towards anyone with a nice ass. But hey, that’s life at 18.
If there is one question that plagues a native “Williston Parker,” it is, ‘So, where are we drinking tonight?” Whether it be an abandoned parking lot or someone’s backyard that you don’t even know, there is always somewhere to drink. But beware, cops circulate the streets here like Harlem so be weary about drinking on the streets of WP, as I will now refer to it. But if you’re really lucky, you will be able to pull off an entire drinking race, a “boozefest” if you will, with no police involvement at all, ‘cause that’s how we do things in Williston Park, we’re renegades of the law and live by the motto, “Fuck the Po-lice” (Thank you Jay-Z for that one).
If there is one thing I want you to take away from this exposé, it’s the sweet, sweet relationship a Williston Parker shares with its town, a sort of unconditional love that you can always come home to. Williston Park is just the type of town that keeps on giving, no matter how much you ask of it.
